By Any Chance Would Your Name Happen to Be?
by dharkcharlotte
Summary: Dawn is NEVER helping with transportation spells, ever again.     BtVS Crossover with Farscape.  TTH FFA non pairing


TTH FFA Willow Rosenberg / D'argo (Farscape)

**Summary: Dawn is NEVER helping with transportation spells, ever again.  
Characters: Willow, D'Argo, John  
Pairing: None  
Warnings/Spoilers: None  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**By Any Chance Would Your Name Happen To Be…? **

The purple tongue whizzing by her head was completely unexpected and more than a little gross. It so wasn't her fault she landed here, wherever 'here' was; and startled the man… creature… guy. Oh! And there were these little roundish robot things with antennae and what…

"Ouch! Dammit! That hurt!" Irritation shot to unmanageable levels and she yelled at the tall dangerous creature. "Will you stop hissing at me like some kind o-o-of cat on steroids and…" A human looking man ran in. "Hey!" _'Salty goodness!'_

Said object of Willow's scrutiny stuttered to a halt, his blue eyes widening in disbelief as they landed on her. If she wouldn't have known better, she could have sworn he recognized her. No way would she have ever failed to notice this tall, dark, leather wearing example of tasty decadence. She might have switched sides for a while, but after she and Kennedy broke it off, Willow discovered she wasn't exclusively gay.

The tall hissing guy had stopped trying to smack her around with his tongue thank goodness and Willow placed her hands on her hips and glared. "Do you treat all of your visitors this way? I know my entrance was a bit unexpected, but really! And trying to hit me with your tongue? Gross much?"

A snort drew her attention back to the new comer and she could see he was torn between laughter and disbelief. He opened his mouth and spoke in the most adorable Texas accent.

"D'Argo. I sincerely doubt the lady is tryin' to invade or take over the ship. Not if she is who I think she is. And how that's possible I…"

"How do know this John? You weren't here when she fell through the ceiling."

"Hold that thought." The man named John turned his attention back on Willow and he giggled. "Oh god… Um, by any chance would your name be Willow?"

Startled, Willow asked, "How could you possibly know my name? And where am I? I knew I shouldn't have let Dawn help me with that spell. Alternate reality maybe? Why is my link to the Earth so stretched…?"

Willowbabble was rudely interrupted.

"Earth! John, did you hear that? She said Earth!" D'Argo asked her eagerly, "Can you get him home?"

"What do you mean home? We aren't on Earth? Where are we?" Dread started to form in the pit of her stomach.

"She can't get me home D'Argo!" John laughed hysterically. "Where I'm from she's a fictional character on a television show!"

"Oh crap!"

Determined to look on the bright side, John said, "Well hey! At least I can find out what happened after I left!"

End

Ch 2

Her head spun with the implications of the tales tall dark and hunky fed her. John Crichton; displaced American astronaut. Oh she knew what he was saying was entirely possible; come on, a world without shrimp remember? But to come across someone who knew what had happened to you in detail for two years of your life because it had played out in a television series back on his version of Earth? Utterly wiggsome. But completely believable since he totally understood Scooby speak; the first and second most effective way to stop her babbling and why she and Oz broke up the first time.

He begged her to tell him about their lives after March of 1999. It was weird, but not the weirdest thing considering where she had ended up. It was hard to top his biggest bombshell. They were on a ship… so far from his Earth it wasn't remotely funny and said ship was sentient. Also on this ship were a collection of people/creatures that would have made Jim Hensen drool. There was Aeryn Sun; very human in appearance but so not. She had been the first to appear in the room after Willow's brief introduction to D'Argo. The big guy was a Luxan… and that thought sent her into another fit of giggles. Made her think of that huge casino in Las Vegas the Scoobies had visited after the latest Apocalypse prevention. A Casino that doesn't exist on John's Earth so she had to explain it to him. Which kind of made it less funny, but then he laughed so… Yeah. D'Argo didn't get it. John said he'd explain it to him later.

Getting back on track; Aeryn was much scarier than D'Argo. And pretty hot in a scary Faith way... if, you know, Faith carried a gun around. Aeryn was a bit more intimidating and gave off unconscious 'MINE' vibes whenever John would laugh or flirt with her. Imagine; Willow Rosenburg could make someone like Aeryn jealous. Mind boggling.

John introduced her to Pilot via their impressive comm. System. He was symbiotically bonded with the ship, Moya. After that revelation, Willow had to sit down and when her hand made contact with the console her senses went haywire. She could hear the ship and Pilot deep inside and in return, they were also aware of her. There was a moment of panic from all parties, but Willow did her best to send calming waves to them and when she managed to move away from the console, all was well. Only a minute had gone by in real time thank goddess, so no one was aware of what had happened.

Well, until the physical representation of Nature rushed into the room like a cerulean hurricane of protectiveness. This new arrival didn't have to touch Willow to affect her. Her energy hit Willow like a wave of pure joy and the gasps that sounded around the room barely registered as her hair bled white. Willow knew she had to be glowing.

The voice sounding in her head brought tears and they ran down Willow's cheeks as She asked, i _'Who are you Child?' _

_'I am Willow. Are you The Godess?' _

_'__No Child. I am Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan, a mere Priestess of the ninth level on the Path of Enlightenment__.' _

_'How is this happening?' _

_'That is unknown to me young one. You are of the same race as John Crichton yes?' _

_'We are both human, yes. But I'm not real on his Earth.' _

_'You are Real here child. I sense you have touched much Darkness. The reverberation of rage and vengeance faintly echoes in the deepest part of you.' /i _

Panicked, Willow began struggling against the mental bonds connecting her to Pa'u Zhaan.

_ i 'Y-y-you shouldn't look in there. Such evil should never touch one such as you.' /i _

When she opened her eyes, Willow found herself on the floor, looking up into concerned blue eyes. She could sense a concerned Zhaan trying to reconnect and she hastily erected a shield around herself to deflect the well meaning Priestess.

She sent a wild look to John. "She needs to stop! She's trying to go where she shouldn't."

Zhaan took a step forward and Willow held out a pleading hand. The tension in the room grew in direct reaction to Willow and D'Argo growled.

"Zhaan! Leave the girl be!"

"But I only want to help her. Her pain calls out for healing."

Frantically thinking back to the timeframe John was familiar with, Willow asked, "Remember when I tried to put Angel's soul back in?"

"Yeah! That was pretty cool."

"Cool he says! What the black eyes kind of cool? Or the something taking over my body kind of cool? Imagine the kind of dark power it took to accomplish that and imagine it being strong enough to turn not only my eyes black, but my hair also and make with the scary black veins all over my body??!!"

Comprehension started to dawn across his face and Willow added the kicker. "Do you want Zhaan tapping into something like that?"

"NO!! God no. Zhaan, back away from the foreign witch." Zhaan looked like she would argue again and John cut her off. "No, trust me on this. It'd be bad, really bad. If She's that freaked about it, you should respect her wishes right?"

Zhaan looked a little disappointed but she backed away. "I understand John; I will not force my help on her."

Willow started feeling a familiar tingle and smiled. "Oh! Looks like they found me."

"But… Wait! You can't leave before you tell me what's happened! I've been without television and pizza for years! Please?"

Willow never could resist a good dose of puppy eyes. She closed her eyes and concentrated and when she was done, there was a data disc in her hand. She passed it over to him. "Here, it's not what you'd get from primetime television since, ya know… no sensors. But if you can get Moya to play it back for you it's what's been happening up through 2007."

There was a power surge and Pilot announced an increase in activity in Moya's neural sensors. A disc of green energy formed near Willow and expanded until it was her height. The center cleared and the occupants in the room could see a dark haired woman peering at them. Her mouth moved and then seconds later her voice was heard.

" Willow! Get your ass through now! I can only hold this thing open for a few seconds!"

Willow looked around at the others and waved. "Sorry guys. It was nice to meet you all!" She opened her mouth again, but a lean muscled arm shot through shot out and grabbed her, pulling her through a second before the portal closed with a loud crack.

John looked up at Aeryn and then the others before grinning widely. He waved the disc and took off; yelling over his shoulder, "Hot damn! I'll be back later. Need to see if Pilot can access this for me."

Chiana walked in, gesturing to John as he hustled down the hall. "What's he in such a rush over?"

Surprisingly D'Argo was the one to answer her.

"Some woman named Willow fell into our reality, babbled, had a metaphysical moment with Zhaan, gave John a data disc and then got pulled back to her reality through a green portal. He's going to see if Pilot can access the data she left for him."

Chiana's eyes widened. "Did he ask her if Faith and Angel ever got around to doing it?"

"What are y…" He didn't bother to finish his question as Chiana bolted from the room hot on John's hells.

"John! Don't you frelling watch it without me!"

Ch 3

All was quiet on Moya. The only movement throughout the ship was made by the DRD's scooting about their business. A few of the units had gathered in the doorway of John's room but they scattered at his hoarse shout of outrage.

"Aww, Man! Can't you see it's not Faith? Come on Giles! Buffy knew it was you when you were a Fyarl." John threw Moya's version of popcorn at the viewing image while D'Argo leaned over and whispered a question in Aeryn's ear.

"Why does he talk to the data image as if they can interact with him?"

Aeryn cut her eyes from the screen to glare at him incredulously. "You're asking me? I'm a Peacekeeper D'Argo, not human. I truly do not understand what he's saying most of the time, despite the translator microbes."

The room filled with a sudden pressure that disbursed with a loud crack; causing everyone to jump and Pilot to belatedly alerted the crew to a presence on board. A strange odor permeated the room and John's head whipped around to the source of it sitting on the table by the far wall. There was a stack of white boxes there that hadn't been before and when John saw them he whooped loud enough to startle everyone again and then leapt over the back of the lounger; reaching the table in three strides.

Long before Willow dropped into their lives for that brief moment, John had reconciled himself to the fact that he wouldn't be going home. And after recent developments between him and Aeryn, he wasn't sure that he would if he could. This little reminder of home Willow provided him with had become a weekenly event. Chiana had been the worst when it came to waiting. She wanted to watch the data disc in one sitting and John had had to enlist Pilot's help in restricting access so no one could spoil the next weeken's episode. They were currently watching Giles run around town as a Fyarl demon and although enjoying the entertainment, John wondered if he should have left well enough alone. His homesickness was worse now than ever before. He was seriously thinking about going to bed early when a loud crack sounded through the room. Pilot came on the comm, telling them there had been a foreign presence onboard when John smelled something so heavenly, he thought he just might cry.

Whipping his head around, John saw a stack of white boxes sitting on a side table. "Hot Damn!" He jumped over the back of the lounger and made it across the room almost without touching the floor. There was a note written on the surface of the topmost box and John forced himself to slow down and read it.

_John, _

_Sorry it took so long to contact you again, but you know how busy it can get during Apocalypse season. I'm sorry to tell you, but there doesn't seem to be a way for me to get you home. I have no way to trace back to your Earth from where I am. Through trial and error, we discovered that only organic things can come through. Which would explain why some things on my person were left behind when I came through before. Don't ask, I'm not saying what. _

_Oh! By the way, we found your double here. Different name, but he's in the military too. Used to be a fighter pilot but now he's stationed in Colorado Springs. Buffy met him while on patrol one night and I think they're dating 'cause she's being all avoidy about it. _

_I hope you like the pizza! There are two with everything, two pepperoni, one sausage and one cheese. We'll try to send you things when we can. Tell everyone hi for me and let Zhaan know I thought of sending her something, but nothing seemed appropriate. What do you give a sentient plant humanoid shaped Priestess of Enlightenment? _

_Blessings to you! _

_Willow_

John was touched that Willow took the time to try to help him and he opened the lid of the first box with shaking hands to reveal the most gorgeous pizza he'd ever seen. No way was this Dominoes. Had to be from some specialty joint. It was heaped with ingredients and there was no way to eat a slice with out a fork. Everyone crowded around to see what John was moaning about. Chiana thoughtfully brought plates and John gave each a slice to taste. Who knows what Earth food would do to his friends? Then again, he managed to choke down their version of food on a daily basis and he was still breathing. They all watched him take a bite and Aeryn's mouth dropped open in shock when he moaned in ecstasy. They watched him eat the first piece and when it didn't kill him, each one in turn took a small bite. Rygel's bite was small in comparison to what he usually did, which was to swallow things whole. John was halfway through his second piece, taking the time to actually savor it when he noticed Zhaan tentatively taking a bite. A astonished look flashed across her face and she consumed it quickly. It was a slice of pepperoni, not the cheese, which was surprising.

She looked up at John with an expression of such bliss, he got a little nervous. She walked up to him and embraced him, pressing her ear to his.

"Oh frell!"

The resulting jolt of sexual energy she released into him sent him to his knees and he barely heard the other's laughter as he watched Zhaan grab two more slices of pizza on her way out of his room. John caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Rygel trying to make off with an entire box.

"Drop it, you sorry excuse for a toad! If you think I'm gonna let you snurch my pizza, you better make your funeral arrangements now." The glare John sent his way prompted Rygel to drop the box and move back a few feet. John gained his feet again and stood slowly, continuing to pin Rygel with his glare of death. He pulled out four slices out of the box the Hynerian tried to make off with and handed them to the little worm.

"Here. Now beat it." Rygel attempted dignity as he floated from the room and ignored John as he yelled out, "And don't say I never gave you anything!"

John looked up at Aeryn curiously. "Do you think Pilot would like some?"

"Most likely. Just be careful. The last time you gave him something new it gave him gas and the whole ship smelled for a week."

John laughed at the twinkle in her eye and asked, "You want to help?" She nodded and he handed her a few boxes, leaving enough behind for both Chiana and D'Argo. Chiana had rewound the data stream and had started watching Buffy and her crew from the beginning. She did that in between the weeken showings since John had made it impossible for her to skip ahead.

As they walked together in companionable silence, John glanced at Aeryn and smiled.

"What? Do I have that red stuff on my face?"

He laughed and said, "No you have 'something' face." Her confusion was plain and he explained. "You look like you want to either say something or ask me something… so, 'something' face."

"Ah, yes well…" Her face scrunched in concentration and it was all John could do to resist touching her. He never knew when it would be accepted or when he would get knocked on his ass.

"Are you disappointed?" Her voice was flat and controlled and John responded to it as he usually did when she was being overly serious.

"With what? The pizza? Heck no. Best thing I've eaten in cycles! But... that's not what you meant is it?"

"No." She wouldn't meet his gaze and John had the feeling Aeryn had read the note Willow wrote on the box.

"Ah, you mean disappointed that Willow couldn't find a way to get me back to Earth?" She nodded and he stopped walking. She took one more step before realizing he hadn't continued and turned back to him. He met her eyes and set his boxes down on the floor. Continuing to hold her gaze, he took her box and set it on his before straightening. He crossed the short space between them and carefully took hold of her shoulders, keeping his grip gentle so she could move away if she felt the need. He leaned in slowly, keeping eye contact and stopped a hair's breath from covering her mouth with his. Her dark eyes dilated and he had to bite back a smile before answering.

"No."

His breath caressed her mouth and her lips parted in anticipation of a kiss that he knew was promised in his gaze. He thought to tease her, but after shocks of Zhaan's bliss sharing hit him and he gave in; kissing her waiting mouth with the pent up desire he dealt with on a daily basis. Her mouth was surprisingly pliant and the spices from the pizza only added to his pleasure as she encouraged his questing tongue with her own. He dipped into her warm mouth over and over again until her knees were weak and breathing became an issue. They broke apart and she laid her head on his chest with a show of vulnerability that clenched at his heart.

"I'm glad." Her voice was quiet and John laid his cheek on the crown of her head, enjoying this rare moment of tenderness.

A sound, whisper quiet broke into his thoughts and he bellowed, "Sparky, If you've made off with more of my pizza, I'll 'ave your guts for garters!" The sound of a box dropping back to the floor was followed quickly by Rygel's throne sled speeding away. The pair laughed at the Dominar's hasty retreat. "Who would have thought Spike would be an effective deterrent against greedy toads?"

End

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